Don't Ed Yourself
by nico420
Summary: Inspired by the sticky note that says "don't touch yourself" on Double D's bathroom wall.


**I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy or any of the following characters.**

* * *

As Double D was helping Eddy clean his room—something he was enjoying far more than Eddy was—he accidentally knocked a pile of school books onto the floor. He bent over and picked them up, gasping at what was under them.

It wasn't a book, but a magazine. A _dirty_ magazine. And it was open.

Double D blushed, hurrying to pick it up without taking in the contents of its page.

"What's the matter, Sockhead? It aint gonna bite ya." Eddy teased.

"I wasn't expecting that, is all," Double D said.

It's true—he wasn't.

"Haven't you ever seen a dirty magazine before?" Eddy picked up a pile of clothes and threw them in his hamper.

Double D was straightening out the books on his shelf. "If you must know, Eddy—_no,_ I haven't."

"Well, I don't have as good of an imagination as you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't have as good of an imagination. I need something to look at."

"I—I don't use my imagination!" Double D said; his face turning red again.

"What_ do_ you use, then?"

"I don't... Why would I...?" Double D had to swallow the lump in his throat. "What would I need to use my imagination for?" He'd only meant to sound innocent, but he knew that he'd dug himself into a hole.

Now, Eddy would have to explain himself.

The shorter boy shot him one of those _are you stupid?_ looks. "_You_ know."

Double D didn't say anything. He just continued to clean Eddy's room.

There was a moment of silence, but Double D could hear what Eddy was thinking; so he wasn't surprised when he said, "You've never done it, have you?"

Every time Double D felt like he had just recovered from blushing, he felt his face get hot again. It was _really_ annoying.

"That much should have been obvious."

"Why, not?"

Double D stopped what he was doing altogether and stared at Eddy, dumbfounded.

Didn't he have any shame? How could just talk about it like that? How could he be so cool about it?

"Let's not talk about this, Eddy."

"Fine." Eddy let it go. "But it doesn't sound very healthy."

* * *

That night, Double D was having trouble sleeping. It appeared that Eddy was out cold.

Silently, he willed his erection to go down. He squirmed under the covers, trying to make himself comfortable, but his underwear only rubbed him the wrong way—or the right way, depending on how you looked at it—causing him to moan, however, quietly.

He instantly panicked, and he turned to make sure it didn't awaken Eddy.

He was still sound asleep.

Double D didn't know what to do. He knew what you were _supposed_ to do at times like this—or he thought he did, so why did his parents tell him it was wrong?

When he started going through puberty, his mother even left a sticky note on the bathroom wall that read, "DON'T TOUCH YOURSELF;" in capital letters and everything.

He was educated enough—even in something that embarrassed him as much as sex—to know that masturbation was a natural part of growing up. A necessity, really. Eddy was right; it was unhealthy to continue to ignore his body as he'd been doing. It was getting harder, and harder, the older he got (no pun intended).

Still, he couldn't bring himself to do it. The only things, he could imagine at times like this were his parents; and sticky notes that told him not to.

Not to mention, he was scared. Scared to figure out how it would feel, and what that might change for him. Brought up on routine, Double D was afraid of change.

His parents really messed him up—that's for sure.

No matter how hard he tried to concentrate on something else, he couldn't get rid of his "problem." He wondered what could even be causing it. It couldn't have been that magazine from earlier; could it have?

_No._

Double D didn't know what it was, but he knew what it wasn't. He'd barely reacted when he saw it, unless you count getting embarrassed. And it's not like he'd been fantasizing about anything...

He quickly glanced over at Eddy, making sure he was still asleep.

Without thinking about it, he brought his hand to crotch of his pajamas and began massaging himself. Another little moan escaped him.

Double D slapped a hand over his mouth. He hadn't even mean to do that!

At this rate, he would definitely wake Eddy up. Even if he didn't plan to do anything, he had to get to the bathroom.

He slipped out from under the covers as carefully as he could. He was almost to the door, when...

"Where ya goin'?"

Double D froze.

"Um... I'm just going to the bathroom," he said.

It wasn't a lie.

"Goin' to take care of a little business?"

Double D blushed in the dark. He could read the amusement in Eddy's voice; picture the smirk on his face.

"W-What are you talking about?"

"I wasn't sleeping," Eddy chuckled. In the pale moonlight, he saw a look of horror wash over his friend.

"I... I..." Double D struggled for the right words to say, but if there were any, he didn't know what they were. He'd never been in this kind of situation before.

"I never thought I'd see you at a loss for words, Sockhead."

"I wasn't going to..." Double D searched for words that were less embarrassing, but he couldn't think of anything. There was no way to say it that wasn't embarrassing.

"What?"

"What you thought I was going to do... I wasn't going to do what you thought I was going to do."

"_Sure..._" Eddy said, sarcastically.

_"I wasn't!"_

"Okay, okay—Calm down. What's the big deal, anyway?"

"Nothing." Double D managed to bring his voice down.

At least his body was starting to return to it's regular state.

"Sorry," he said, sitting next to Eddy on the bed.

"Don't be sorry. I'm just worried about you, is all."

"Why?"

"Because, you're not a normal teenager, Double D. You're thirteen. You're _supposed _to be doing stuff like that, and thinking about everything else that you can't do yet. I mean, even if you're not interested, you shouldn't be this_ against_ it. Ya'know?... I'm just concerned..."

Eddy was... concerned?

That made Double D smile; more than he would have liked to admit.

Eddy could see it, even in the dark.

"It's not that I'm not interested," Double D said. "It's just..." He didn't know how to say this. "It's just..."

_You can do this, Eddward. Relax..._

He took a deep breath and sighed. "It's my parents," he said.

"Your parents?"

"When I started going through puberty, my parents discouraged me from... taking care of things, shall we say. Mother even left a sticky note in the bathroom."

"Are you _serious?!_"

"I'm afraid so... And even though I know that it's okay to do it, I still have a complex about it," Double D thought, out loud.

Eddy was quiet for a few minutes. Double D wondered what he was thinking. He wondered if he thought he was as stupid, childish, and pathetic as he felt right now.

"What if," Eddy said, "you could find away around the rule?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what if you could find a way to... relieve yourself of your problem without breaking your parents' golden rule?"

Double D thought for a moment. _How would that even work? _"I'm not sure that I understand," he admitted.

He waited for a verbal response, but what he got was a physical one.

Before he knew it, Eddy was kissing him.

Double D jerked away faster than a knee during a reflex test. "W-What are you_ doing?!_"

"Let me help you, Sockhead..."

Double D shivered at the tone of Eddy's voice. It was soft and quiet, but somehow, still hoarse. Comforting and urgent at the same time. Overall, it was reassuring.

Eddy leaned in and kissed him again. This time, Double D let it happen. He let Eddy press his soft lips against his and even slip his tongue inside.

Kissing made Double D excited again.

_Eddy didn't really meant that, did he? _He thought to himself. _He isn't really going to... "help" me... _He was getting hard, thinking about what Eddy might do to him. What Eddy _would _do to him, if he was serious about what he'd said.

_I couldn't do something like that, could I?_

Sure, that way he wouldn't be breaking the rule, but he was certain that doing it with someone else was a way bigger crime than doing it by yourself; in his parents' eyes.

Eddy broke the kiss and fixed his eyes on Double D. They had finally adjusted to the dark.

"My parents wouldn't approve of this, Eddy..."

"They don't have to know..."

Double D couldn't believe he was letting this happen as Eddy placed a hand on his chest and proceeded to push him back, slowly; until he was lying on his back and Eddy was lying on top of him.

This time, they kissed more passionately.

Then, Eddy slowly tugged down on his zipper...

He stared down at Double D—whose now exposed chest was rising and falling with excited breaths—in his onesie. In the moon's light, Eddy could see the blush that stained his face and the desire that burned in his eyes. He was rock hard just looking at him.

Eddy zipped him down all the way.

And there it was... Standing, proudly.

"Eddy," Double D said. His voice was thick with desire, but there was a trace of fear.

"Relax, Sockhead." Eddy leaned in for another kiss. "I'm going to take care of you, okay?"

Eddy's voice was the same as before: urgent, yet comforting; totally, reassuring. It made Double D feel like he was already being taken care of. It made him feel something very unfamiliar. It made him feel... hot.

He did as he was told and relaxed all of his muscles, letting himself sink into the bed.

He wanted to let Eddy take care of him...

He closed his eyes and waited for his friend to make a move.

* * *

Eddy couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe that his best friend—_his Sockhead_—was sprawled out totally naked in front of him, waiting for Eddy to give him pleasure.

When you fantasize about something as much as Eddy had fantasized about this very moment, it can be confusing when the real thing happens. The first thing you think is, _Am I dreaming?_

If he was, he never wanted to wake up... He'd been waiting to touch Double D for so long...

He traced his hand down his friend's chest and stomach before wrapping his hand around the swollen appendage.

Double D gasped as soon as Eddy started working on him. He wasn't used to this sensation. He had never known it before.

It was intense.

The way Double D looked in this state was almost too sexy to bear. The way his long, black hair fell across the pillow; the way sweat was starting to form on his tan skin; the look of pleasure that ravished his face; that fiery gleam in his eyes. The way he was arching his back now, bucking his hips in time with Eddy's hand.

He was getting so into it...

His innocent, little Sockhead...

_I'm doing this, _Eddy thought, studying his friends reactions. _I'm the one that's making him feel like this. I'm the reason he's got that look on his face and that glint in his eyes. I'm the one that's making him moan like this._

_I'm the one that's going to make him cum._

His first orgasm... He hadn't even given one to himself yet.

_This is going to be an experience he'll never forget._

Eddy removed his hand from Double D's manhood and replaced it with his mouth.

"Agh!" Double D moaned at yet another new sensation. He laced his fingers through Eddy's hair and subconsciously pushed his head down, forcing him to take more of himself.

Eddy was caught off guard, but the unexpected action made him feel good about himself. He was glad to know that Double D was enjoying this.

_Aghh! Ugh!_

_Uhn..._

Double D was bucking his hips again, still holding onto Eddy's hair.

Eddy could feel him getting stiffer in his mouth.

_"E-Eddy!"_

That's what did him in: hearing Double D squeak his name in that way he often did; but this time, he was calling to him out of the pleasure that Eddy was giving him; calling for him out of the desire that he wanted him to fulfill.

His voice was dripping with it.

_I'm gonna take care of you, _Eddy thought, moaning around Double D's cock. _I'm gonna make you feel _so _good._

Double D didn't last more than a few seconds after that. Soon, Eddy's mouth was being filled with his seed.

_This is..._

_Double D is... _

Eddy let the rest of his friend's essence fill his mouth before swallowing it.

Beneath him, Double D was sweating and struggling to catch his breath.

"How was _that?_"

"That... That was..."

"Too good for words, huh?" Eddy chuckled.

"Yeah..."

It was indeed the most intense experience of Double D's life, thus far. Now, he understood why Eddy did this to himself all the time. What he couldn't understand was his parents...

"Thank you, Eddy," Double D said, breathlessly.

Eddy gave him a kiss. "Well, if you ever find yourself in this situation again..."

"...I'll let you take care of me."


End file.
